Why Is My Husband Yelling at Me? Let’s Talk About It

What Could Be Causing Him To Yell?

Stress Overload

Life has a way of becoming enormously nuts, right? Maybe he's stressed out at work, cash flow problem, or whatever. Possibly all that tension builds up, and swearing is how he ends up releasing some of that built-up anger.

Feeling Like No One's Listening

At times when an individual feels that they are being overlooked or not heard, yelling might be their way of getting heard. Not that it is acceptable to yell, but at least it shows that there is something amiss.

This Might Be the Way He Talks

There are some people who were raised in a household where it was okay to yell, and thus it was their "go-to" way of communicating when angry or frazzled out.

Fighting Spiraling Out of Control

When communication breaks down, small things can turn into instant screaming matches. It's more likely to be about the way they're fighting than about what they're fighting about.

Emotional or Mental Struggles

If he's battling with anxiety, depression, or other internal battles, sometimes that expresses itself in irritability or yelling.

What Can You Do About It?

Keep Your Cool

It’s easier said than done, but when yelling happens, try to stay calm. Reacting with yelling usually makes things worse.

Talk It Out Later

Later, once tempers have cooled down, mention how you feel about yelling at you in a calm manner. For example, say, "I feel angry when you yell," instead of blaming him.

Set Clear Boundaries

Make it clear to him that yelling is something you cannot tolerate. Healthy communication requires respect from both sides.

Try to Understand His Side

Listening and being empathetic, even if you do not agree, can come a long way in cooling down tensions.

Consider Getting Help

At times, therapy for couples or individual help from a therapist can prove highly useful in stopping the pattern of yelling and building the way you communicate.

Don't Neglect to Take Care of Yourself

Your feelings count, too. If the yelling seems like it's turning into something hurtful or even dangerous, don't hesitate to get help.

There are games and tests that can help you work through stress and understand your feelings better, like the ones available on our site.

In a Nutshell

Yelling is usually a sign of something bigger going on. By getting to the root of it and talking openly—without shouting—you and your husband might find a way to connect better and lower the tension. It’s not easy, but you don’t have to figure it out alone.